My 20 learning's at 30 !!

1. Love and accept yourself – fully

I truly believe if I had accepted the good and bad parts of myself at a younger age, I would have avoided many of the wrong decisions that I made in my life. Once you know who you really are inside, you begin to accept and love yourself fully.  Once you truly love yourself from the inside, you are able to love and accept others which provides a much higher probability of maintaining healthy relationships.

2. Feed your soul

Whatever your passion, or whatever you enjoy in life, make sure you feed your soul with what inspires you. If you are not sure what your passion is, try new things and find different activities until you find a few that give you that feeling of warmth, freedom and accomplishment inside.

3. Find a strong support network

For a long while, I tried to do everything in my life in my own power and with little help from others. I later realized having a strong support network of family and a few friends to share my life with is so rewarding. Finding and cultivating new relationships with others that will love and support you no matter what is so important to have in life.

4. Be authentic

During some of my harder times in life, I wore a pretty and smiling mask on my face no matter what I was going through. Only a few close people in my life knew what was really going on during my hardest trials. Once you begin to show others you have ups, downs and struggles in life just like everyone else, you become more trustworthy and sincere to others.

5. Live for you

A huge part of my life was taken up by taking care of everyone else which resulted in having no time for myself. My motives and reasons for doing things were wrong which in turn made my life much harder than it had to be. You cannot make everyone in your life happy – ever. Once you begin to make the best decisions for yourself instead of others, life gets easier.

6. Don’t compromise too much

I could have avoided that bad relationship if I would have figured this out when 2 years back. Compromise is required in any close relationship because we are all different and have different wants. Compromise is a good thing most of the time if the compromising is equal on both sides. Once you give up your wants and needs the majority of the time in any one relationship, it’s time to re-evaluate that relationship and decide if it really is healthy for you to be a part of it.

7. Travel more

This might be my biggest regret. I did travel some with my family when I was younger and it was wonderful. Money can buy you material things or memories. If I had thought about it this way before, I would have stopped making the meaningless purchases on material things and made sure I spent my money on at least one new destination each year. Traveling creates a sense of freedom and opens your eyes to the way others live in different parts of the world.

8. Worry less

I struggled with anxiety and lots of worry in my past. Worrying triggered my anxiety and it became an ugly part of who I was for a long while. Once you realise that worrying will not change your outcome, you begin to accept whatever is going to happen to you. You realise you will be okay no matter what. Once I stopped worrying so much about everything, my stress levels decreased immensely.

9. Stop Comparing

Sometimes I feel like I should be done with Facebook altogether, I did deactivated my account the whole last year ;) Seeing everyone getting married and having kids, and I was only like, me and Sam L ! Comparing your life to your best friend whom you know really well is one thing, but comparing your life to someone’s life on Facebook is detrimental. Once you realize that comparing your life to others does nothing but bring your own self worth down, you eventually stop. There will always be someone who is smarter, prettier or better off than me and I have accepted that. The moment I start comparing, I immediately change my thought pattern to what I am thankful for in my life ( Ma family and SAM J)  and keep moving forward.

10. Forget expectations

I had the ‘Disney + SRK’ syndrome growing up, you know the one that you will meet Prince Charming or some Raj or Rahul, get married and live happily ever after? Well Disney can pull it off because that is not real life and so does the movies. After all the experience I had in past 2 years, I just threw all of my expectations I placed upon others in the garbage. Once you realise you can still have dreams about your life but with dropping the expectations regarding other people, you really start to live your life in the moment. An expectation placed on someone else is actually just a premeditated resentment.

11. Live to work, not work to live

If I could do it all over again, I would have tried a myriad of different jobs when I was younger or researched a lot of different careers and chosen one that fit me best although I am quite happy that I did try hands at different fields when I was starting off but it was not known to me at that time that what I can be best at. Once you decide on a career path that you could really see yourself doing for the rest of your life, you then become someone in the workforce that truly lives to work because they love their career of choice. Many people are stuck in jobs they dislike just to garner a paycheck and that is not an ideal existence.

12. Save for the unexpected

This should be a no brainer but I did not do this when I until a year back Lwhen all of a sudden I was all alone, with a broken engagement or relationship and so many scars and tears in memories. I am now watching my parents moving towards their retirement and it has me thinking about all the things I need to do so that I am financially secure when I am older. Life will constantly be changing and probably continue to throw you unexpected curveballs so saving for upcoming hardships is a smart and sound decision.

13. Give back more

I recently have found in my life that I enjoy helping others. It gives me a very good feeling and nourishes my inner self. For some this could entail volunteering time with a charity, or taking special care of a close friend that is going through a hard time or helping animals. Giving a part of your time to do something that benefits you in no way, shape or form keeps you grounded and thankful for what you do have. It is so rewarding to forget about your problems in life by taking time to invest in someone else.  When you do something just out of the goodness of your heart and expect nothing at all in return, you surprisingly feel better about life no matter what is going on.

14. Forgive yourself and others

I lived the entire last 3 years almost staying bitter and angry about a few events that happened to me and for a while I truly believed it was 100% the other person’s fault or my destiny to go through this. Once I realised that holding unforgiveness towards others and myself for past mistakes was holding me back from happiness, I made a change. It took me a while to be willing to be happy but I was able to work through it and experience freedom. Once you are able to truly let go of past hurts made by yourself or others, you see life and love in a positive light.

15. Don’t waste too much time on negative people

Sometimes it is hard to get away from negative people if they are your co-workers or your family or if you are in relationship with someone like that. In some situations you do not have a choice but with actual friendships you can choose what type of friends you want to spend most of your time with. If you are on the end of a relationship where that person is a taker vs. a giver it’s time to set boundaries or slowly end the relationship. Once you begin to learn proper boundaries to set with people you would rather not have to deal with everyday, life becomes easier because you choose not to let that negative person affect you any longer.

16. No is a complete sentence

I have had a real hard time saying no. May b I am too sweet to everyone.  I want to say yes all the time and make everyone happy but that is impossible. If I do say no, many times I want to justify my no or explain the situation so the other person will feel better about my no. The older I get the more I realise that no really is a complete sentence and I do not have to justify every reason why I am not able to commit to an event or able do something for someone else. Once you are confident in your ‘no’, it’s easier to make decisions for yourself instead of others.

17. Think long and hard before you say ‘I do’

I am part of those broken by wrong relationship population of the Country who are now living in isolation, which is hard to admit but I now know what I want, desire and deserve in a life Partner. It is so easy to get caught up in the feelings and emotions of relationships generally although I consider myself to be very closed, honestly I have near to zero experience in being in a relationship and dealing with the other person. I tolerated all what was coming to me, thinking this is how it is and hoped that things would change for the better someday. For myself in the end, they only got worse. If you don’t see longevity in your current relationship or you have too many “if onlys” with that person, then you might not be with your ideal mate. It’s much easier to end things with someone before they get too serious. If you have reservations about certain things in your relationship or you want to change core aspects of the personality of your partner, it is probably best to move on.

18. Stop and admire the little things

This is so simplistic but we currently live in a world where everyone is connected to an electronic device or the internet and it is becoming harder and harder to unplug and just enjoy everything that makes life worth living. And as my TOD on FB today says… “Escape from life every once in a while to enjoy those small little things in life” I truly believe that we should stop to enjoy a sunrise or sunset every once in a while, sit under the stars on a night with few clouds. Stop and smell the flowers. Go visit the ocean or the mountains and admire nature. We live in a world where Ferris Bueller is so right – “Life moves pretty fast, if you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

19. Stop caring what others think of you

I so wish I would have figured this one out much sooner. I was so concerned with what others thought of me that I often times responded or did things for others because I thought that is what they wanted to hear or what they wanted me to do. Once I realised that what others think of me is really none of my business I was able to live life with right motives instead of wrong ones. Once you are able to be yourself and forget caring what other people think about you, life gets better because the worry and the expectation of pleasing others is removed. The truth is it is impossible to please everyone, so you need to focus on yourself and just eat all chocolates all day lol.

20. Embrace Change

When I was younger I wanted things to be predictable, to be stable and for the most part to stay the same. It felt safer to think that my life will be pretty much the same through the years. When I was then confronted with numerous changes all at one time, I did not handle it well. I have since realised that the only thing I can count on in life is change. Once you are able to embrace change and know that life can take a variety of different turns, you are up for the challenge and better suited to accept whatever comes your way.

Celeb me ;) lol

Zindgi kis taraf ja rahi hai.. Kaise ye rang dikhla rahi hai

Mere dil bata aage hona hai kya....

I like people.. By default I guess I like 100% of people no matter what they do to me.. Ehhh

But good thing.. I don't compromise myself for that liking .. Very content that I keep moving on.. And flow through!

I love this "anyway" by mother Teresa.. On my mind today so I must share..!!

Random me :)

"Gamble everything for love, if you’re a true human being. If not, leave this gathering"

Kuch to b ulta is happening... something very opposite to my years long conditioning on love...
All the movies we see, all the songs we hear and all the things people tell us about love are the ones who give love a bad name, turning love into something it is not. When I constantly hear songs with lyrics that go something like this: 

“I’m nothing without you.”
“You make me whole.”
“You complete me.”
 “I’m dying without you…. bla bla bla.” 

And when constantly watching all happy ending wali mushy Bollywood movies ;) where the lead character is this sad, lost, lonely and very unhappy person who can’t be happy on his own but once he finds his “soul mate”, the “love of their life”, all of a sudden they come back to life,  no wonder you start to develop all kind of limiting beliefs about what love is...

How come anyone can make me feel whole when I was never incomplete in the first place? And how can anyone be the love of my life when I myself is the love of my life ;)

I doubt really if i need another person to complete me, I guess I only need someone with whom I can share my completeness.

Is my salvation gonna come from another man or woman?. Naah !!! And know why? Because no matter how much love “THE ONE” will project onto me and no matter how hard he will try to make me feel happy, whole and loved, if I haven’t found a way to love myself fully, I will not be able to experience true love. I will never be able to experience the love he want me to experience. I will keep going back to my original state of being and the sad part is that, consciously or not, I will drag him down with me :(

I'm kind of curious to know and discover myself cz the more I know and understand myself, the more i will be able to understand what life is all about, what love is all about and what I am all about. Only by knowing myself I can know others and only by loving myself I can love others.

Someone rightly said, i dunno who.. but i remember what.. "Love is not selective, just as the light of the sun is not selective. It does not make one person special. It is not exclusive. Exclusivity is not the love of God but the “love” of ego. However, the intensity with which true love is felt can vary. There may be one person who reflects your love back to you more clearly and more intensely than others, and if that person feels the same toward you, it can be said that you are in a love relationship with him or her. The bond that connects you with that person is the same bond that connects you with the person sitting next to you on a bus, or with a bird, a tree, a flower. Only the degree of intensity with which it is felt differs" 

There are many writers who said and wrote so well.. and made our lives easier... ;) see such a simplistic thought on love...!!!!

I know so little about love because I know so little about myself, about who I truly am and about what I'm really capable of being, doing and achieving.We go to the Moon, we go to Mars. We explore all corners of the Earth and we explore the Universe but we don’t seem to care too much about exploring our inner world, our internal Universe...

The day will come when I will take a better look at myself and all that I am and realize that everything I was searching for, all the love, all the wealth and all the happiness  I was so desperately seeking for was already within me.... And oh my God, what a beautiful day that will be 

Will taking the road less traveled, can take me there? ... Life's calling

I have this pic saved in ma blackberry from quite a few days... I look at it wonder and move to others.. finally it has caught up my attention and thoughts so much that I'm here with this pic..! this pic and then I heard of this line "“…it sounds like life is calling you to do something BIG and you haven’t picked up the phone.” " Really? I wanna write more about all the things that I personally needed to know , the things that catch up my curiosity and know wot, the more I write the more I learn and discover, life and myself and our connections with this universe.

I will stop writing the day I'll discover who I am and whats the purpose of my existence, or may be I'll continue writing even then, about the journey of ma life with a "before and after" comparison ;)

I have been listening a lot lately.. advises , orders, my  odds, life's odds... ! In life, people will try to convince you that what you feel in your heart is not what you should apply in your life and that to dream is to be naive. That you should look for safety and stability, always behaving and doing what everyone else is doing BUT it’s so important to stop for a little while, take  a few steps back and ask yourself: “What do I want? How do I want my life to unfold?”

I think why not try a change? If I'm feeling I'm being called to do something new, something different; if I'm hearing ma heart's calling me, begging me to do things I have never done before and explore worlds I have never explored before, this is the time to do it! actually why not?

After all, my heart, my soul, my intuition, my inner GPS… they are a lot wiser than I think and they know things that my mind does not. I wanna dare to trust their wisdom. Dare to take the road less traveled because that’s how I think I can find my purpose and calling in life. Taking the road less traveled will take me there. :)

Now I wanna learn to listen to my own inner voice, to do what I myself feel in my heart is right for me and not what the majority thinks I should do. I'm almost going to be 30, spent 30 years on this planet and if I'll keep following the crowd I guess I can go no further than the crowd.
Let's just don’t be afraid to let go off familiar places and familiar faces to explore new lands. Don’t be afraid to take the path less traveled and do things that nobody else dared to do before.
Lets find the courage to take risks. To get out of comfort zone and go the opposite direction from where everyone else is going. Simply because my heart is asking me too.

Awesome feeling to start with.. Lets start living Adi ! muwahhhh :*

When things go wrong....!!!

Simply motivating .. these eight things I would read over n again to regain my faith in life when everything seems to go wrong...!!!

1. PAIN IS PART OF GROWING.

Sometimes life closes doors because it’s time to move forward. And that’s a good thing because we often won’t move unless circumstances force us to. When times are tough, remind yourself that no pain comes without a purpose. Move on from what hurt you, but never forget what it taught you. Just because you’re struggling doesn’t mean you’re failing. Every great success requires some type of worthy struggle to get there. Good things take time. Stay patient and stay positive. Everything is going to come together; maybe not immediately, but eventually.

Remember that there are two kinds of pain: pain that hurts and pain that changes you. When you roll with life, instead of resisting it, both kinds help you grow.

2. EVERYTHING IN LIFE IS TEMPORARY.

Every time it rains, it stops raining. Every time you get hurt, you heal. After darkness there is always light – you are reminded of this every morning, but still you often forget, and instead choose to believe that the night will last forever. It won’t. Nothing lasts forever.

So if things are good right now, enjoy it. It won’t last forever. If things are bad, don’t worry because it won’t last forever either. Just because life isn’t easy at the moment, doesn’t mean you can’t laugh. Just because something is bothering you, doesn’t mean you can’t smile. Every moment gives you a new beginning and a new ending. You get a second chance, every second. You just have to take it and make the best of it.

3. WORRYING AND COMPLAINING CHANGES NOTHING.

Those who complain the most, accomplish the least. It’s always better to attempt to do something great and fail than to attempt to do nothing and succeed. It’s not over if you’ve lost; it’s over when you do nothing but complain about it. If you believe in something, keep trying. Don’t let the shadows of the past darken the doorstep of your future. Spending today complaining about yesterday won’t make tomorrow any brighter. Take action instead. Let what you’ve learned improve how you live. Make a change and never look back.

And regardless of what happens in the long run, remember that true happiness begins to arrive only when you stop complaining about your problems and you start being grateful for all the problems you don’t have.

4. YOUR SCARS ARE SYMBOLS OF YOUR STRENGTH.

Don’t ever be ashamed of the scars life has left you with. A scar means the hurt is over and the wound is closed. It means you conquered the pain, learned a lesson, grew stronger, and moved forward. A scar is the tattoo of a triumph to be proud of. Don’t allow your scars to hold you hostage. Don’t allow them to make you live your life in fear. You can’t make the scars in your life disappear, but you can change the way you see them. You can start seeing your scars as a sign of strength and not pain.

Someone once said, “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” Nothing could be closer to the truth. Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most powerful characters in this great world are seared with scars. See your scars as a sign of “YES! I MADE IT! I survived and I have my scars to prove it! And nowI have a chance to grow even stronger.”

5. EVERY LITTLE STRUGGLE IS A STEP FORWARD.

In life, patience is not about waiting; it’s the ability to keep a good attitude while working hard on your dreams, knowing that the work is worth it. So if you’re going to try, put in the time and go all the way. Otherwise, there’s no point in starting. This could mean losing stability and comfort for a while, and maybe even your mind on occasion. It could mean not eating what, or sleeping where, you’re used to, for weeks on end. It could mean stretching your comfort zone so thin it gives you a nonstop case of the chills. It could mean sacrificing relationships and all that’s familiar. It could mean accepting ridicule from your peers. It could mean lots of time alone in solitude. Solitude, though, is the gift that makes great things possible. It gives you the space you need. Everything else is a test of your determination, of how much you really want it.

And if you want it, you’ll do it, despite failure and rejection and the odds. And every step will feel better than anything else you can imagine. You will realize that the struggle is not found on the path, it is the path. And it’s worth it. So if you’re going to try, go all the way. There’s no better feeling in the world… there’s no better feeling than knowing what it means to be ALIVE. 

6. OTHER PEOPLE’S NEGATIVITY IS NOT YOUR PROBLEM.

Be positive when negativity surrounds you. Smile when others try to bring you down. It’s an easy way to maintain your enthusiasm and focus. When other people treat you poorly, keep being you. Don’t ever let someone else’s bitterness change the person you are. You can’t take things too personally, even if it seems personal. Rarely do people do things because of you. They do things because of them.

Above all, don’t ever change just to impress someone who says you’re not good enough. Change because it makes you a better person and leads you to a brighter future. People are going to talk regardless of what you do or how well you do it. So worry about yourself before you worry about what others think. If you believe strongly in something, don’t be afraid to fight for it. Great strength comes from overcoming what others think is impossible.

All jokes aside, your life only comes around once. This is IT. So do what makes you happy and be with whoever makes you smile, often.

7. WHAT’S MEANT TO BE WILL EVENTUALLY, BE.

True strength comes when you have so much to cry and complain about, but you prefer to smile and appreciate your life instead. There are blessings hidden in every struggle you face, but you have to be willing to open your heart and mind to see them. You can’t force things to happen. You can only drive yourself crazy trying. At some point you have to let go and let what’s meant to be, BE.

In the end, loving your life is about trusting your intuition, taking chances, losing and finding happiness, cherishing the memories, and learning through experience. It’s a long-term journey. You have to stop worrying, wondering, and doubting every step of the way. Laugh at the confusion, live consciously in the moment, and enjoy your life as it unfolds. You might not end up exactly where you intended to go, but you will eventually arrive precisely where you need to be. 

8. THE BEST THING YOU CAN DO IS TO KEEP GOING.

Don’t be afraid to get back up – to try again, to love again, to live again, and to dream again. Don’t let a hard lesson harden your heart. Life’s best lessons are often learned at the worst times and from the worst mistakes. There will be times when it seems like everything that could possibly go wrong is going wrong. And you might feel like you will be stuck in this rut forever, but you won’t. When you feel like quitting, remember that sometimes things have to go very wrong before they can be right. Sometimes you have to go through the worst, to arrive at your best.

Yes, life is tough, but you are tougher. Find the strength to laugh every day. Find the courage to feel different, yet beautiful. Find it in your heart to make others smile too. Don’t stress over things you can’t change. Live simply. Love generously. Speak truthfully. Work diligently. And even if you fall short, keep going. Keep growing.